The Glorious Gautama Buddha Chapter of the Galloping Gang of Grandmothers of Greater Grand Island has struck again. The local newspaper last week, in the “Police Calls” section, reported a house in a nice neighborhood had been burglarized. Missing were, and I quote here, “various scrapbooking items.” The work of a gang of young toughs that took the night off from crocheting? A band of hooligans (as they say in the U.K.) intent on mayhem with the American scrapbooking industry? Perhaps a lone drug addict desperate for a glue fix? No, the Galloping Grannies are definitely persons of interest.

Burglary is a serious crime, but stealing scrapbooking stuff? What other heinous acts of felonious conduct can we expect? “Yes, officer; when I came home the door had been jimmied and several skeins of yarn were missing, along with my best thimble.” “911, what’s your emergency? Well, someone broke a window, went upstairs and cleaned my son’s room! Keep calm sir; an officer will be there shortly.” How are we to protect ourselves from a crafty burglar who’s after crafts? Is there a way to keep our pictures and precious notes from being purloined?

First, make sure all your doors and windows are locked when you leave the house. For extra security you can purchase a $500 security system with a $50 monthly monitoring fee to protect the $7.99 investment in scrapbooking supplies. Be sure your reminiscent valuables are locked in a safe place called a safe when you leave the house or go to bed. If you need to hide some gold under the bed that was in the safe to make room for the supplies, go ahead; you can never be too careful. Most of all—be prepared!

That’s a good theme for the readings of this Sunday: preparedness. The worthy wife in the first reading is always preparing by her labors and charity; she is therefore praised at the city gates. [cf PRV 31:10-31] Paul reminds the Thessalonians that they are the children of day and light and the Day of the Lord should not catch them unprepared. [1 THES 5:1-6] The Gospel parable is of a master entrusting possessions to his servants, each according to his ability. The poor guy with the least entrusted to him did, well, nothing. The master did not reward him for doing nothing, but rather condemned him. [MT 25:14-30] Do we believe we can get attain the Kingdom of Heaven by doing nothing? I’d go on, but my scissors and paste seem to be missing.