A Rambling on Helpless Priests

[author’s note: from my time of preparation and  deployment to Iraq.]


April 18, 2010

A lot of priests are helpless. That’s right and I’m glad it’s now out in the open; most priests have major trouble in doing the simple things of life without help. Let’s take for example the three priests who live here in the rectory, minus yours truly, Frs. Joseph, Sorensen and Kalin. I’ll just call them the “triple threat” for the purposes of this rambling. When I came back from military training I found the rectory lacking in basic necessities like bread and milk. Apparently no one in the triple threat enjoys or wants to shop.

Don’t get me wrong, as a man I could spend hours shopping in the Sears tool section, but the thought of shopping for clothes ranks up there with hemorrhoid surgery for me. However, I will go to the store and buy what the house needs to live as often as necessary. The triple threat would rather starve than cross the threshold of a market. In fact last weekend I went to the sacristy refrigerator to get a fresh battery for the portable microphone we use in Church (Why they are in the refrigerator is another rambling for another day). There were five, count ‘em five dead batteries in the refrigerator. My faith in the Resurrection does not necessarily extend to 9v batteries.

Now some generous parishioners occasionally send over a casserole, pie or other homemade victual. From experience the triple threat falls on such things like three coyotes on a deer with crutches. These generous food contributions have kept the triple threat alive in my absence, as well as the rare foray of one of the group to the forbidden land—the grocery store. As good as these priests are at ministry, they are helpless at home economics. I can easily see Jesus calling to them, as He does in the Gospel, to “cast out your net to the other side of the boat for a large catch.” (John 21:10-14) There will be a look of consternation on their faces as they ask, “We need a net?”

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