Most clergy know that a red N in a liturgical book, e.g., Missal, Lectionary, Prayers of the Faithful, etc., mean you should come up with a name. Commonly this is found in the Eucharistic Prayers where the priest has to mention the name of the Holy Father and the local bishop, as in “N. our Pope and N. our Bishop.” While this usually presents no problem to the celebrant of the Mass, celebrating the Mass in a different diocese involves a different bishop. “Who’s the bishop of this diocese? Matthew, Mark, Luke or John?” It becomes a task when the mothers of the said bishops give them uncommon names. “Luther our Bishop, Birmingham our Bishop, Slim our Bishop (400 pounder), Lacey our Bishop (mom wanted a girl), Moses our Bishop.” You get the drift.

The real challenge is when a layperson takes to the microphone for the Prayers of the Faithful. Not prepared for the dreaded red N they insert whatever comes to mouth. These are real examples: “Francis our Pope and Paschang our Bishop.” Ok, pope is correct but Bishop Paschang was four bishops ago in our diocese and his first name was John. “Paul our Pope and N our Bishop.” Yes, St. Paul VI was about four popes ago and the speaker did pronounce just the letter N. “N our Pope and N our Bishop.” You can’t go wrong with the letter N. Did I mention that these lectors are at Mass every week with their families?

Priests and deacons are up to their stoles in Ns with funerals and weddings. This is compounded by the pronoun possibilities, he/she or him/her. People get a bit testy when you mention the wrong name or sex of the beloved. Who knew? Some years ago a priest was filling in for an ailing pastor in one of my former parishes. The priest, at the last possible moment, was tasked with a funeral starting in a half hour. During the service, said priest mentioned what a great guy the dead person was and how he’ll be missed. For those who don’t know all a priest’s tricks, this is called “making stuff up.” Unfortunately at the sign of peace an elderly man crying in the front pew said to the priest “Father, she was my wife!” Well, I’m sure she was still a great guy.

Jesus has no need of the dreaded red N, He calls us each by name. It’s humbling to realize that the Creator of the universe, the Triumphant over death and the power of the Holy Spirit know each and every one of us. There is no error in God’s Wisdom.

Note to lectors: when you make a mistake with the N, an angel sheds a tear.